


Wedding Cake

by crystalred



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, im gay and I cried a lil while writing this, jane/callie/roxy ment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 13:38:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9387497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalred/pseuds/crystalred
Summary: John disappeared shortly after the cake was cut. Jane and Roxy flew their new mutual wife to the top of a ten-foot tiered cake to slice the inaugural piece and he was standing next to me, then as press and party-goers surged forward in a mad rush for sugar he slipped away. I felt the tail end of a cold breeze flit from the crowd and I only barely caught the direction it flew in as it disappeared. John wasn’t a subtle guy, I could tell something was off at the beginning of the ceremony. The biggest surprise was that it took him this long to escape.Jane, Callie, and Roxy are all getting married, and John's feeling something very specific to being gay at a wedding, and missing your father. Dirk does his best to be supportive.





	

John disappeared shortly after the cake was cut. Jane and Roxy flew their new mutual wife to the top of a ten-foot tiered cake to slice the inaugural piece and he was standing next to me, then as press and party-goers surged forward in a mad rush for sugar he slipped away. I felt the tail end of a cold breeze flit from the crowd and I only barely caught the direction it flew in as it disappeared. John wasn’t a subtle guy, I could tell something was off at the beginning of the ceremony. The biggest surprise was that it took him this long to escape.

This left me with a dilemma. Go chase my date into the hall, or stay out here until he was ready to rejoin the party. I wondered for a half-second if maybe he didn’t want to be followed, but that line of thought was quickly discarded. John was a straightforward guy about everything but his feelings, he wasn’t the type to play passive aggressive games. Or, he was, but not this particular type of passive aggressive game.

I turned in the direction I’d felt the wisp of air fly and I closed my eyes to concentrate. This was a ridiculously huge wedding. I guess 3 creators getting married was kind of a big deal, there were guests of every race, species and blood color in every direction, all churning in a big mosh pit around the cake. The derspitians in particular were getting antsy as they were starting on sugar highs, and most everyone else was half drunk on free wedding booze. It was cacophonous to a ridiculous extent, and I thought I sniffed a whiff of the glittery death-lollipop of Calliope’s. I suppressed a shiver and tried harder to focus. Around me in the peripheral mind of my eye, I could see the souls of the people around me pop up.

Each one flickered like a flame, but held a solid shape that was only mobile at the edges. Each of the few hundred people in this room had one, but they all sort of melded into a pile of nondescript souls I didn’t care about. I reached out further. There was Jane, Roxy, Calliope, all the happy brides, each with a bright, robust flame. I smiled a little, then pushed my radius a little further, past the ballroom. I caught the feeling of John’s soul wandering the south hallway. It was a little dim compared to the firework display of emotion going on in here. I frowned at that, and opened my eyes.

I skirted the edges of the room to find an exit into the hallway. The ballroom was in the very middle of the venue with a long hallway that encircled it and lead to other rooms on the edges of the building. Cool air rushed over me as I stepped into the dark hallway. The AC was cranked to combat the sheer number of bodies in the ballroom, making the hallway freezing. It was welcome, much better than the hot, heavy atmosphere in the other room. Maybe that was why John had left? I rounded a corner and saw him leaning against a wall, picking at a piece of cake on a plate. His expression was melancholy as he pushed the cake around the plate.

It hit me, his dad. That had been his whole fatherly schtick, baking cakes and things like that. Here was Jane getting married, maybe John was just missing his dad? Regretting the experiences they’d never have together? I really didn’t have a lot of my own experience to cross-reference here. I stepped forward, deliberately stepping hard so John heard me coming and looked up.

“Oh, Dirk, hey.” His eyes weren’t wet. His expression was actually just more thoughtful than sad, now that he was looking at me. I walked over and joined him on the wall.

“Sup?”

“Nothing much. Cake.” He gestured to the pile of mush on his plate. He scooped a forkful of mostly frosting and stuck it in his mouth casually. “It’s pretty good.”

“Glad you got a piece. You split pretty fast after the girls cut it.” He shrugged.

“It was just getting hot in there. I figured Jane wouldn’t miss me for the moment if I stepped out.” I nodded, he nodded.

Neither of us said anymore, and we both just stood for a few minutes in silence. I grappled with the idea of asking something, I didn’t wanna pry. It’s not like John and I were much more than fuck buddies currently. The moniker was there, relation statuses set to [OCCUPIED] on various facets of social media, but conversations between us always lapsed into this same silence lately. Somewhere between comfortable and awkward, where we both simultaneously wanted to talk and say nothing at all. Right then, however, I wanted to talk. I mean, fuck, that’s what boyfriends did, wasn’t it? I cleared my throat. John looked at me expectantly.

“Is it your dad?” I forced my eyes at his chin, that was close to eye contact right?

“What?” I couldn’t read from his tone whether he was mad or not. But I was already dedicated to this trainwreck I was gonna see it through.

“I just thought, the cake, Jane gettin’ married, maybe it was stirrin’ up…” I struggled for a word and John cut me off.

“Have you tried the cake?”

“What?” Now it was my turn for confusion. John twisted the fork to spear another chunk of cake and held it to me.

“Try it.” I was a grown-ass man and for some reason that made cheeks go hot for a quick second. I hesitated briefly, then leaned forward and took the bite from his fork. It was oddly intimate for something as simple as a bite. The cake honestly was delicious. It was moist and hearty and the frosty was light and creamy.

“It’s really good.” I said honestly. John nodded in agreement. 

“Jane’s dad made it. You know, he helped plan like, ninety percent of the wedding? Jane told me she wanted to hire a team of professional wedding planners with ten years experience each in arranging flowers and hanging drapes, but her dad insisted on taking charge.” I whistled low, John looked about as impressed as I felt. 

“That’s a shit ton to do, there’s basically half the planet here.” 

“Right? He’s so excited and so supportive of her, it’s almost stupid.” He chuckled and shook his head. “It’s weird. He’s my dad, but absolutely not my dad, yanno?” I didn’t, but I nodded anyway. John went on, “The similarities are just uncanny, and so many times I have to remind myself that he’s not the man I grew up with. But he basically is, he’s just got different horrible jokes and likes a different brand of shaving cream.” He looked down at the cake. “And he’s put hours and hours and days of effort into making sure his daughter can marry her wives, and he’s just tickled to death about it.” 

It clicked, suddenly. I’d been close, but I’d been missing a piece. 

“In what universe would your dad, voted thrice to be “Dad of the year” by Gentlemen’s Biweekly, not be tickled pink to make a cake for your gay wedding?” I nudged his ribs and elicited a small smile. 

“I think I always knew that, that’s what everyone told me, assured me. But it’s not like I could ever be sure. I was 13 when he died, I had no clue, and it’s not like it ever came up around the house. We watched Will and Grace together, that was the extent of gay media I had growing up.” His jaw shifted. “I couldn’t ever be sure. I’ve spent, god,” he reached behind his glasses to wipe his eyes with the palm of his hand, “ever since we got out of the game I’ve been trying to emulate that standard of what being a man meant, trying to keep his memory alive in me, live how he would have wanted me to. And It never quite fit, and it took me so long to figure out that I was never going to have the two and a half kids and a dog that I thought he wanted me to have. I was so sure I was letting him down.” He wiped his eyes again and laughed, a raw half-laugh half-sob of relief. 

I took the cake from his other hand and set it on the ground. As I straightened my hands hovered around his shoulders, unsure of what to do. Thankfully that’s all John needed to know the invitation was open, and he grasped me in a hug, holding me tightly as if to anchor himself. He was taller than me so I had to reach up to wrap my arms around his neck, but we fit together, if a little awkwardly. He wasn’t sobbing but I could feel him cry onto my shoulder and I held him even harder. There in that hall, without words, we connected in an intangible way that only two men like us could. 

“He woulda made so many cakes for any weddin’ you had.” I whispered against his neck. 

After a long pregnant pause John collected himself and we pulled away from each other. Caught up in the moment I pulled my glasses off my nose and slipped them into my breast pocket, realizing a half second too late how corny that was. John met my eyes and smiled. Maybe corny wasn’t too bad. 

“We can stay out here, if you want.” I offered. “I think Callie whipped out the sucker, and somehow it just continues to prove a disappointing experience each and every time I try it. I just don’t think I have that knack.” John bent down and took the plate of cake I’d left at our feet.

“I at least want to finish this before we head back in there. Wanna help?” He offered me another bite. 

“Sure.” I took the fork from him this time and put it into my own mouth, chewing as I scooped another bite and offered it to John. John took the bite without taking the fork, and he really seemed to enjoy this bite. He smiled as he swallowed. 

“I think that’s exactly how my dad would have wanted his cake’s to be enjoyed.”

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to drop me a line on tumblr I'm dersse.tumblr.com and we can cry about dirkjohn together


End file.
